Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He better not be in your backpack
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
