Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
