As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
