Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize