I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
