did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
