was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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