Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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