just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she pinky promised me she was 18
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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