i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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