the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
