erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
