If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
