i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
