I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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