we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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