physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
