yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
