True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
