seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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