smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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