So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
