She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
