she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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