The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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