we're blogging at a bar
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
