Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
