We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
