I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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