Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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