i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
