I looked at my own cervix.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
