Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
