It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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