i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
