you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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