I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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