therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
