Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
