come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
