Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
