A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
