I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
