on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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