She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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