I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
