Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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