You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
