Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
