Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
